Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
