I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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