Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
