i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
