I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
