So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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