Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
