U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
