Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
