I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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