There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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