It's Friday. Sex?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
