i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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