no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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