Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize