Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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