Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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