i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
