im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
