Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
