last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
