her vagine was all disorganized.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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