My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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