I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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