i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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