Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
