North Korea, Best Korea!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hippo gnu deer
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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