so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize