This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
