so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Someone came in the potted fern
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
