We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's great music for shaving your balls
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
