Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she looked like the before picture.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
