Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
