I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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