shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
