she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
