Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
