and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
