God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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