There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my shit smells like andre
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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