we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
