please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
