I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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