John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
