I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
