I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
