after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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