so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize