When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
