i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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