Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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