It's Friday. Sex?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
