I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
