i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
