shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Im part way to drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
