She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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