hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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